I'm sick, man..!

Whatever lah... today i'm sick. MC for 2 days. And Thursday will be a Public Holiday so I am able to get lots of rest. Hopefully will be back to work on Friday. It sucks to be sick, man. I'm in pain, can't surf much and chat with my friends.

My paperwork, I'm sure, will pile up like almost halfway towards the office ceiling. I know because if I don't work for even half a day, paperworks stacked up.

But nevertheless, I get to lie down on my bed with my laptop in front of me, listening to my Indonesian Spa soothing sounds of softly chirping birds, Indonesian gamelan being played and sounds of seaside waves, also some cricket sounds and forest sounds, on my CD player, and burn my aromatherapy oil to relax me and make me endure my pain a bit.

The day is not so hot so I just turned on my wooden ceiling fan to number 2 and I'll feel like I'm in a spectacular Banyan-tree-like resort somewhere, where breezes blow softly, leaves rustling and sounds of kookabooras, birds and other birdcalls softly in the distant.

Imagine that and feel how relaxed u are.....

Going to sleep and rest now... I'm in another world altogether....

Wacky Thursday!

Had a wacky Thursday yesterday... Don't know what gotten into me... Just having fun I guess.. or relieve stress that has been mounting over the week...

Came in in the early morning, accompany my husband to his work site to collect some filed documents to bring to HQ. Was sleeping in the car while waiting for him...


Reached office 15 mins early than official time. And had my coffee. And suddenly my day was wacky...

I disturbed everyone in the office. Stepped on open-shoe toes, hearing screams from them coz I was wearing my Timberland boots and can't feel anyone's toes whom I had stepped on.. hahah! Well, they chose to wear those sexy open-toed girl's shoes.. for I rarely wear them. That's why I say they're girly shoes. I'm a rugged sort you know.

Started freaking out my colleagues, while doing work.. My motormouth at work saying all sorts of rubbish, cursing at the smallest thing that went wrong like my stupid mouse doesn't move.. (maybe it's dead.. awwww... )

Irritating my next door neighbour, Hii (right). He looks angry.. but I know he's not. Terrorising my stupid MCP friend, Saravanan, 2 cubicles from me... saying funny greetings to my former cubicle neighbour, Aman. Teasing my admin neighbours who sits in front of me.

All these in one morning, while I do my job at the same time, managed to finish a whole bloody stack of documents. Phew! Trying to hide from my boss coz he's giving everyone a 'black face' and seems like a cloud of rain is following him.. haha! But I didn't mind. He's got things on his mind. I just try not to get in his path.

Talked nonsense with my upstairs neighbour, Yati, she's fretting about being transferred to a site office where she didn't wanna go. She said it was more fun and crazy here. We teased my new neighbour, Hii, who was also her neighbour upstairs.

Took pictures of people working, and disturbing them at their desk.

Hasta (top) is blurred when I tried to take her picture, E.P. (below) is just smiles and at peace with the world...

Here, Aman (holding the sharp tool) tried to stab Sara (smiling like an idiot) in the back with a sharp tool or something... but being Sara, he just too oblivious about all these things. They hate each other, but I think it's a love-hate relationship.. Shhh.. U didn't hear it from me.

Lunch time! We decided to go out for lunch. Joanne, my husband and I hitched a ride George's van to go to Sims market for lunch..

Here is George (right) eating his 'Nasi Lemak'* from a chinese stall. Concentrate.... Don't let spoon not reach your mouth... Girls (those of u reading this), don't drool over George. I know he's cute and good-looking but alas, HE'S TAKEN! You can look all u want tho. (psst.. he's in my friendster list of friends).

Here is Joanne (below), trying to figure out which dish of the Nasi Lemak she wants to start eating first. BTW, I think she looks sweet here.. Natural look. I don't think she looks ugly or wat.

My husband ate 'Tahu Goreng'** (below, left) and I ate 'Kachang Phool'*** (below, right) we eat minimal nowadays... indulging in full meal once in a while tho. Accompanying the food are our Blueberry flavoured drinks (bottom).

After lunch, we waited for George to 'Da Bao'**** lunch for another colleague in the office. I got shots of pigeons scurrying on the floor to grab whatever scraps they can grab - oblivious to people walking around....

Took picture of a washing basin area centerpiece at the food market there.

Me and my husband did crazy stuff in George's van while waiting for George to buy his weekly TOTO nearby .. hahaha..

Wacky pictures of my hubby...

Nothing to do and looking around the inside of the van, I decided to fool around with some things in it.

I acted like a fierce site supervisor with my safety helmet and those neon coloured safety vest. My husband acted like he's sleeping lazily. (Bad acting, tho).

So he decided to play with his.... iPaq!

George was teasing us by shaking the van from the outside as though we were doing 'IT'. hahahah! Very funny, George.

Back in the office, my crazy friend Yati, fooled around with a plastic toy gun that uses small balls as bullets.. so I acted like a police detective hiding behind cubicle partitions and trying to shoot George and my husband.

But then I thought to myself, this is a good photo op and so.. this is the result... HAHAH!

CRAZY WOMAN ON THE LOOSE!

** Tahu Goreng is fried tofu with vegetable stuffings, topped with sweet and sometimes a bit hot, peanut gravy.

***Kachang Phoo - red kidney beans, boiled and grinded into sauce with some 'Ghee' oil and some spices, eaten with bread, poached egg, diced raw onions and green chilli.

****Da Bao - pack, or to pack eg. lunch (This meaning is wat i know so far, hahah!)

Why do I feel the need to forgive him... again? Help me...

My friend apologised to me today through email coz he's got short term memory of phone numbers. He can't remember mine. And anyways, I've changed my numbers due to unavoidable circumstances.


We argued at first (thru emails). Hurtful words came and hurled. He told me he'd throw away all the gifts I gave him a few years back which was only a few and he kept it for memories of me. Not being able to see each other is painful. Even tho he's just a friend, sometimes we miss our friends. Tho it's not necessary to meet, sometimes it helps to see each other and keep in touch... not literally though.

For me, when anyone gives me gifts, even the smallest and insignificant, I treasure it for life and will never throw it away.

I told him, if it meant very little to him, then just throw them away forever into the drain or incinerator or something. But no matter what he did, I will cherish and remember our friendship .. or what's left of it.

But in my heart, I knew he wouldn't because I know him better than that.. He was just saying those things out of anger...

Then came the next email... He apologised for his rude behaviour. That got my hopes up of keeping the friendship alive. He told me to call him in his office... and I did.

I melted hearing his sorrowful apologies but somehow his marriage was in topsy turvy right now. It somehow made me feel guilty for calling him. But his apology was sincere and from the heart...

But I screwed him by saying he's a weak person. He's supposed to be the head of the house and yet he's weak. He said he's trying his best because as far as he knows, we didn't do anything wrong by calling and talking...

I told him that she was a menace because she called my office and asked about me but I managed with the help of my friend to push her off.

Where in the world did he find this woman to be the love of his life? She simply has no trust at all over him... not even friends or colleagues! What the hell, man!


All I did was say hello and I thought I called the wrong number. But she wasn't convinced that he didn't have affairs with anyone.

I just don't know how right now.... Should I forgive him for he didn't know what he was getting into when he married her? or Should I forgive him and treat our friendship as per normal? or Should I not forgive him and destroy our friendship altogether.

He apologised but I didn't say okay. I just kept on arguing with him.. but he kept himself calm and talked to me and told me wat happened after that.

It was my fault for not minding the time I called and it was also his fault for not warning me that he wasn't working.

He told me things were still sour with her... but he had done enough convincing all these years that he hadn't had any affair. And now he simply gave up convincing.

I believed him.. because he's not the type and he hasn't been the type to stray. He loved his family.. but maybe that was not enough for them at all.

Sigh..... I'm in dilemma. I missed my friend, but he hurt me many times since. But then he didn't mean to. He's just in a situation where he can't avoid crisis.

Should I or shouldn't I?

Losing an old friend

I had an old friend. We used to be so close that we share everything in our lives. Though we lead separate lives now, we still talk to each other.

I've known him since the year 2000, sharing the same hobbies like photography and singing. We've entered a singing competition together and he got in 6th place and I got in 3rd place... but we shared good times together. It was mutual.

I have my own separate love life. He has his own family. We were just good friends.

But people just don't understand that we're good friends. People gossiped about us, saying we were having an affair to the extend that his significant other declared war upon me just because we're friends. It did not happen to only me.. it happened to his other female colleagues and friends. The only thing I have to say about his significant other is that she's a psycho-obsessive bitch.

He loved nobody else but his wife. That's a good thing about him. Even to the extend to say that he was a virgin till he married his wife. He told me, call him old-fashioned but he believed those things should be done after marriage. We talked. He had problems, he confided in me. I have problems, I confided in him.

Yes, I do have female friends that I confided in but only one friend I could trust and now that friend of mine has her own life living with her husband in England. And so I was left alone here with no close good friends that I trusted. Only him. It's not wrong to just be friends. We don't even see each other since like 2002! We just talk.

It's sad to know that he had given up on our friendship because his pyscho wife thinks that every female friends and colleagues are out to get him into their pants. PURLEEEASSEE...

I now have my own love, my prince charming, the love of my life. Why would I wanna get in his pants? In fact, I remained faithful and honest to my husband. My husband knows that I'm still in contact with this male friend of mine and my husband didn't mind. It's not like we're having affairs with each other. We merely keep in touch through emails or phonecalls. Even then it's just once in a blue moon.. just to keep in touch with friends. And even then, we talk in general about fishing, about computers, about his hobbies and mine.

But what I can't believe is his significant other mistrusts him all the way 100%. I don't know what I did wrong that made her furious. She's a real psycho. But what I actually think, she should look at herself in the mirror for I know that she's having an affair with someone else behind my friend's back. She's the one being unfaithful... but he's the one being threatened. If I were him, I would stand up for my rights and tell her off for once. He confided in me but he still gave in to her.. "I'm sorry for calling u a weak man.. but you ARE weak. She mistreated you all these years and you still give in to her. You are having a false relationship.. there's no trust, no sympathy, no love. But you are what you are.. A sympathetic guy who gives in to everyone who comes into your arms or into your life. You are a kind and forgiving person. She does not deserve you. And if you are reading this, I'm sorry for causing trouble.. but in actual fact, she is finding trouble herself."


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It's my mistake for calling him to talk to him about a certain news that I know of and wanting to ask his opinion about it since he's good at the subject. But it was a wrong call of judgement.
His significant other kept on questioning who called him even though he picked up and said 'wrong number' which is a signal to me that he's not to be bothered.

Because of his significant other scrutinizing ways, he's got no friends, no close friends to talk to. All his friends shy away from him because of his significant other. What I think is this is a case of a serious compulsive obsessive disorder.

And because of that mistake, he quarelled with me asking me why I called him. He ended up the argument, saying 'women are all the same'. I don't blame him for saying that and I can't blame him too. He's been through a lot that had exhausted his mind and body.

She bullied him through the years, threatening to leave him if he did any minor mistakes. I feel his sorrows, I feel his imprisonment. But he just chose to stay in that situation so I can't do anything but just being a friend.

But now, everything is gone. Our friendship is destroyed because of this 'significant other's' obsessive behaviour. But he chose to stay and deal with it.

From what I think, she's more important to him than anything.. so I chose to back out of this treasured friendship.. and his reply was.. 'Whatever. Do what you think is necessary'.

My heart shattered for a thousandth time. I had to let him go since it's what he wanted.

If he thinks that this friendship of ours is worth keeping, he will call me back. If he didn't call me back.. I will leave it at that.

I'm so broken. I lost a good friend. And for what? The mistrust of his significant other.
I wish you good luck in whatever you do, my friend but I will still cherish our friendship for as long as I can remember.

Thank you for your friendship.

N.B.: Some details are changed to protect the identity of the person mentioned.


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Should I migrate to Australia or New Zealand?

I am waiting for the day when I finally pack and migrate to either Australia or New Zealand.....
I love both of them. My husband has been staying in Australia for 2 years for his studies and he knows the Melbourne area at the back of his hands. He really loves staying there. He loves the weather and the atmosphere. Fresh, clean air and he even loves the cows and the sheeps.

He doesn't mind staying there and working as a fruit-picker in a fruit farm. He loves nature and even said sometimes you can have 2 or 3 seasons in a day! The change of weather is unpredictable, water is free, education for kids is free, and when you're not employed the government will kinda help you financially every month just to keep the crime rates low. Sunday over there is a family day. NO WORKING AFTER 5pm. Everyone packs and go home at 5pm. No overtime, but govt insists that employees spend enough quality time with their families too.


How wonderful that sounds to me. We both grown to love nature and animals. So our tastes are the same. We would love to be volunteer surrogate parents to abandoned baby animals like koalas, wallabies, wombats, kangaroos, cats, etc... Taking care of them at our dream house with large garden for them to run around in.

I would love my new landed-property house with a couple of cars and also a caravan for our mini-getaways.


On the other hand, we've grown to love New Zealand too as we went there for our 12-days self-drive honeymoon. That time was the time when I felt SOOOOO FREEE!!! SO MUCH FREEDOM!!!! JUST ME AND MY HUSBAND!

New Zealand has fresh air, lots of space for me to breathe...!! I don't like to feel suffocated which is what I'm feeling right now in this country...
Just waiting for the day when I have my dream life with my husband. Just dreaming about it now... sigh....

So what do you think? Australia or New Zealand?

My husband - my life

3rd May was my husband's birthday, and as usual, everyone forgets unless I reminded them about it. It doesn't matter though, they were nice enough to greet him or give a last minute present. It's the thought that counts, right?
Nevertheless, I hope he likes the HP iPaq I bought for him, which I've been saving up for quite a few months. I don't even know if I have enough to buy my mom a present this coming June. Sorry, mom if i don't have enough to buy you a present. Tight times.
I just brought my husband to Swensen's and bought him a Birthday Ice-cream and sang birthday song to him... just the two of us. It's kind of relaxing.. no hoo-has coz if we ever plan to have a birthday party, we would have it big and it would cost quite a sum. We wished it one day but budget's a bit tight nowadays having to pay this and that and covering up others.
But it's okay. I've spent a memorable time with my husband on his birthday. He also said he just wanna spend time with me on his birthday. And buying him that long awaited present and a birthday ice-cream, was well-appreciated by him.
I love my husband and no matter what people say about him being selfish, or stingy, or even spendthrift or whatever people accuse him of, the real fact is I know him better than others do. And no matter what they say, he will still be my husband and my one true love. In life or death.
He's NOT selfish - but people just take advantage of his generosity which drawn him to seclusion. He's NOT stingy - but then again, people do take advantage of his generosity for their own needs which drove him to be aware of not being too generous. He is NOT spendthrift - he's just overdrawn in his accounts for other personal reasons that people do but never see. People accused him of things he never do, and I know him better than that. Go ahead, accuse all u like coz as the saying goes - "I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say, bounces off me and sticks to you."
The most important thing is that my husband and I cherish each other. THAT'S all that counts. And we are destined to make that fresh start to our lives anytime soon - just the two of us.
I love you now and forever, my Polar Bear. Remember our promises to each other.
Let God teach all the accusers the lessons they deserved - on earth and in hell. I curse them to be miserable for the rest of their natural born lives and also the afterlife. Feel what I feel.