I dunno... You think!?

Something happened to someone that got me thinking.. Are all your friends and colleagues honest to you? Or are they just making friends with you to cover up their ass? Or your superiors who showed interests and buttered you up so that you are motivated to work hard and please them but stab you in the back just because you're a different colour?

Is this a racial issue? Noo... it's obviously office politics... In which, I don't play. I don't like office politics but everyday we ARE surrounded by it and we have to play by it, no matter how hurt we were.

The BEST thing is that... bitches who pretended they were hurt by rumours spreading, really have cold hearts and would keep on doing what in others' eyes are wrong... and they felt nothing.. no embarrasment, no shame for their morals... and they kept on doing it, no matter if their loved one felt hurt when they witnessed it themselves... but still the bitches kept on doing what they think are right to them... but the fact is they are wrong.

And we wonder,... why all of a sudden, the bitch who just entered into the office just barely a year, gets all the superiors - even the ones whose jobs doesn't have anything to do with the bitch AT ALL - eating out of the her hands!

I thought to myself... Wow... she must have really either drugged these people to follow whatever she says or... she must've done some voodoo magic hocus-pocus spells on them to be wagging their tails whenever she danggle a bone in front of them....

Wow.. What a witch! Basically, I love witches.... but NOT that BITCH OF A WITCH.
Back to the topic... I had to make a little detour to 'The Bitch of the Week' story which I was gonna tell later but just to rope in a few ideas, that's all.

Well, the question is.. When will you know that it's time to move on in your career..? Make the next step? Or know that you're not wanted anymore in your office and be the butt of all jokes (career-wise) with your superiors who'd rather listen to office rumours and jeolous co-workers, than listen from the horse's mouth? I thought they're much smarter than that and that's why they're made superiors?

Or is it that the world is coming to an end when people starting stamping on employees foreheads the race they are and NOT the TALENTS they are!? And superiors started believing in rumours rather than 'seeing it to believe it'!?
Sometimes, we gave everything in our lives to our career just to satisfy our superiors,.. but they don't see it,......... just because......... they don't like you OR the color of your skin OR your cultures OR the culture in which you were brought up!

Reality check! THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE WHO SEES YOUR TALENT BASED ON THE COLOUR OF YOUR SKIN in this world! CAN'T DENY IT! THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE LIKE THESE! It's just that they don't admit it for fear of being reprimanded by the MINISTRY OF MANPOWER which spells the government who in turns protects their citizens by imposing rules to make everyone happy but the followers are just followers for fear of ... again.... being reprimanded. NOT because they like the idea... but because they have fears... fears for their lives... fears for their worldly things and fear of their future...

Reality check! THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE WHO SEES QUALIFICATIONS IN PAPER RATHER THAN RAW 'BORN-WITH' TALENTS! WHY WOULD THEY WORK SO HARD WHEN THEIR PARENTS EDUCATED THEM WITH FIRST CLASS EDUCATION AND BORN WITH SILVER SPOON IN THEIR MOUTHS so that they can achieve a piece of paper that says they're qualified to do so-and-so? But basically, has no talent whatsoever in the working world. NO experiences. All they have is a piece of paper that says, they know these things... Try FACING them with the challenges and they're dumbfounded.

I AM so sick of office politics. As I have observed, those who knows how to butter up superiors with words of 'fake love' deserves a better understanding, a better pay, a better respect, a better acceptance into society than those who toils hard with years of experiences on their hands to path them into a better future & having all the knowledge in their minds and thinking power rather than refer to 'Book of Dummies' for further instructions.

Well, these are office politics... You'll know it when you're not wanted anymore and there's time for you to leave to face a better future, despite knowing that your career was based on RUMOURS from other's mouths that you're incompetent rather than seeing it themselves what we've done all these years to suit their needs.

Without us - the hard labourers - there wouldn't even be superiors... or even a whole company.
So... thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaankkk youuuuuuuuuuuu!

Met ANOTHER old friend!!! What a small world!

Yesterday, I had to stay with my husband as he had to put in extra hours (till 1am... *yaaawn*) at his worksite as there were some problems that had occured which needed to be attended to urgently.

But before we go to his worksite, we had dinner after office hours @ Anjappar opposite Mustafa Centre. It was the first time we ate there, but my husband insisted that it was recommended by our Indian comrades. And so we ate there... We had the Na'an bread to be eaten with their side dishes & gravy. We had the Butter Na'an, Garlic Na'an & the Plain Na'an. Side dishes were the Lobster dish (spectacular to the taste buds & cheap too), Crab in some dark curry sauce & the Vegetable cooked in yogurt! Wow... 3 half pieces of different flavoured Na'an bread and 3 different gravies, we were full! That was the tastiest Indian food I've eaten!

While I was washing my hands and my husband paying for the bill, upon returning to our table, my husband told me he saw one of my old friends passed by outside the restaurant. He described her to me and told me that she recognised him and was looking at him and almost slipped on the sidewalk while walking towards another eatery. He described to me how my friend looked like and I knew it was my old friend and former colleague, Murni! She and I were colleagues in the same department in Singapore Press Holdings for about 4 years before I moved on to another department (Asiaone.com).

I went to look for her and greeted her and we were so happy to have met each other since Kushi's wedding and she asked me if I was still in contact with Kushi. I told her Kushi does contact me when she's in Singapore but it has been a while now since she's contacted me. The last time was in February and I haven't heard from her since.... I missed her too. I'm guessing by now, she's already flew back to England to be with her husband, Rob.

I remembered her wedding well... It was so colourful and festive in Indian traditions & culture. I wouldn't know how she hold her wedding in England.. most probably in England's way and cultures. Hope Kushi will contact me again soon.. I missed her much.

Murni and I still contact each other through our friendster.com accounts. She was always so bubbly and cheerful! So we decided to take a picture together for the memory...

Later around 9pm, back to my husband's work site to do my updatings online while waiting for him to finish his duties in solving the problems. I wasn't bored at all... coz even though I couldn't watch my 'Prison Break' hero in action at 10pm on Channel 5, I got to watch my husband's colleague's DVD collection of 'Prison Break', Season 2. I only watched the one they are showing on Channel 5 yesterday. I didn't wanna touch the next episode for I wanna keep the suspense till next week. Shhhhhh... don't tell me!

Updating my friendster, editing my pictures, chatting, surfing and watching 'Prison Break' all at the same time helped me to pass the time... I didn't even realised that it was midnight later when my husband finished the job. But we had to get up early next day to get to his work site as early as possible to be able to attend immediately if anymore problems popped up.

There ends my day... tune in next time for more updates! hehehe...

I've got issues today..... sigh...

Was helping a friend of a friend today to find a job in photography and suddenly I thought of Richard Simko. Yes... he's an angmoh... I sorta fell in love with him before I even met him. Because he's such an honest and a nice guy... a glimpse of wat he looks like.... Val Kilmer.. kinda.

We knew each other through chatlines and we never missed talking to each other everyday or our lives... talking about anything under the sun.


We kinda got crushes on each other and turned to video-messenger to talk to each other to pass the time and when we miss each other... We even said 'I love you's to each other.. and was aching in each other's heart to meet each other one day... We sometimes talked on the phone.. not long conversations though.. if we wanted to, we'd turn on the video-messenger. We could talk and chat for hours.... talking about photography, digital arts and travelling & cultures. He learned a few Malay words from me daily. Hope he still remember those words I tot him.

He's one talented guy! Check out his website http://www.richardsimko.com/


In the end, after almost 2 years of knowing each other, we could not stand missing each other so much that after much deliberations and considerations and mutual understanding, we decided to see other people. And all because of this long-distance relationship....sigh...


My heart aches for the one person who fell in love with me because of who I am and we have never crossed paths or get to meet each other. Even tho we both have been through tough times with our separate love lives...


But that was a long time ago... We're friends now.. although I think he is the one who permanently declared that we are just friends now... even though I secretly love him.

I met someone else over the internet and got married to this prince charming of mine... but somehow, somewhere in my heart, I still ached to see Richard.... one day.

Richard moved on dating other girls and one of them broke his heart and he told me about it and I would really love to slap that girl who broke my Richard's heart.

Well, he's travelling to Thailand for vacation right now.... Hope he'll be back soon. Can't wait to see his photography. Told him I'll miss him. But don't think he knows that I really DO miss him and love him secretly only.

Have fun on your journey, Richard dear.

It's a sin I have to bear despite being married to a husband I really love for his love for me. He's a wonderful husband... wished I could give him more as a wife. I remain true to my husband.

I may hate them sometimes but...

Family is our flesh & blood... I may hate my idiotic brother or my spoilt-brat sister, my old-fashioned thinking mother or my fierce dad or my troublesome brats cats... but they're still my family...

I hate the way they put me under a microscope.
I hate their old way of thinking.
I hate their selfish acts.
I hate that they forget about what I've done for them all these years.
I hate that I can't move an inch without asking their permission.
I hate that they treat me like kids when I'm already married.
I hate that whatever decisions I make, they disagree with it.
I hate that they asked for my advise but when I gave them, they never take heed.
I hate that they think that I am not considerate.
I hate that they think that I'm always pocket-full-of-money.
I hate that they exclude me and my husband whenever they shared a good meal.
I hate that whatever we do, we feel obligated to serve them too.
I hate that I feel guilty sometimes for not having enough money to buy food home for them.
I hate that they make me feel guilty for not being able to buy them what they want for their birthday.
I hate that my brother thinks of me as an imbecile.
I hate that my sister is drifting apart from me since she's turned teenager.
I hate that I am not able to be open-minded with them sometimes coz they always think that I'm making wrong decisions.
I hate it when they think that whatever I do with my husband DOES NOT SATISFY them.
I hate it when I want to feel free with my husband, but they made me feel obligated to help them on that day.
I hate it when I am trying to help them but they're never seemed satisfied with whatever I can afford to give them.
I hate it when I feel upset when my mom just went overseas without uttering so much as 'Goodbye' to me.
I hate it when I feel that I missed the old times with my family and don't want to admit it because there are certain things I can't admit that will cause more problems being brought up in conversations rather than comfort of acknowledgement.
I hate it that I'm staying under one roof with them and if I happen to leave, they'll be pissed poor without my help.
I hate it when I feel like an outcast among my other 2 siblilngs.
I hate it when my mom favours my brother and sister rather than me.
I hate it when she defends them not matter if they're wrong and blamed it on me.
I hate it when I'm feeling divided and torn between the affections of my husband and affections of my family.
I hate it that I'm not in Australia or New Zealand starting a new life of my own with my husband and having my own ranch or farmhouse.
I hate it that I'm not able to give whatever my family desires JUST to make them happy and satisfied if $$ is all that counts in their eyes.
I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT.

But what can I do? They're family.

Meeting an old friend for the FIRST TIME!

Wow... today was great. I heard yesterday that my friend, Shamira was coming to my office to have an interview for a job. I had emailed her resume to my HR dept and she got an interview.

So at 9plus in the morning, I got an SMS from her asking me how to reach my office from the train station. Told her to take a bus and stop at the 3rd bus-stop and walk to my office street. Being the 'blur' Shamira today, she walked in the opposite direction and was a bit lost. So I directed her back to my street and waited for her to arrive.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME I MET HER! AFTER ABOUT 6 YEARS OF CHATTING OUR HEARTS OUT TO EACH OTHER, I FINALLY MET HER! SHE'S AS PRETTY AS HER PHOTOS! AND WOAH... NICE BOOBS! HAHAH! You might think I'm a les sia... but I'm not... I love to envy friends... cos I don't have that big of boobs! haha!
But you're in great shape Shamira! Love u, babe!

After her 'exciting' interview with my HR manager, we got on talking in the meeting room and told her to join me and my husband for lunch later.... so she decided to wait till my official lunch time and she waited outside my office at the sitting area. So sweet of her to wait... very patient person...We went out to lunch at New Hawa Restaurant somewhere in Geylang. I had my century egg porridge, my hubby - fried chillied bee hoon, Shamira - Chicken Fried Rice & Esther P had Seafood Fried Rice. Side dishes are Tom Yam Seafood Soup & Lemon Fried Chicken. Yum yum... slurp!

We got on talking and I was as usual making a fool of myself while Shamira took pictures of me eating and talking and making funny faces! OI! SITI NUR HAMTARO! DON'T make me look fat and round in your pictures ah! hahaha!

Anyways, I will put up the pictures when I finished editing.. hehehe....

It was fun meeting a blogger friend for the first time. We were both cam-whores, taking pictures with our handphones.. hahah!