Life's like this for me... Why?

Sometimes I wonder why I do things for others and help others. Is my generosity and kindness are targets for people to take advantage of me and when they don't need me or my husband, we are just cast aside like disposable containers?

I feel sad just thinking of how much I loved my friends but when I'm away, I make efforts to try and keep in touch with them, or ask them how they are doing or even set a date for all of us to meet.

It seems that nowadays, some of my friends just 'shy' away from my invitations to meet up as a group of friends. I am just wondering why.

My questions have not been answered. Some friends are avoiding me to the extent of not answering my sms or emails or messenger messages.

I am concerned of their M.I.A. Are they in trouble? Are they having a problem and needed to be left alone? Did I do anything wrong that I never realised? Did I do anything that's sooo bad til they refuse to return my calls?

I feel sad. It seems that people might have misunderstood me for some reason. And I'm not even sure why or what.

If people choose to shun me away because of misunderstandings, well, then, that's not very mature, is it?

Yes, people who has problems will shy away from crowd or friends.. but please, don't tell me, you're in contact with some friends and not the others.

I feel that people have positioned me in such a manner that I feel that I'm not worth making friends with.

I will always try to help others who asks for help or do things for friends I love and adore.. but if people chose to avoid me, then I can't do anything to please them.

If they hate me for no apparent reason, then I'll let it be.

But in any way what so ever, I will apologise if I happen to unconsciously made a mistake or hurt someone. People can always point it out to me, instead of shutting me out.

But never mind. I will still remember them wherever I go, or wherever I am.

Even when I'm travelling I will always tell my husband, eh.. this friend likes this stuff! I will buy it for their birthday.. hence I will buy it and keep it till I give it to them on their birthday.. coz I want them to know I care and still think of them...

Hope they do the same for me.... because all these years, even with my Secondary school friends, I will still keep in touch and give them a ring once in a while or wish them Happy Birthdays and stuff like that.

Never in my mind, have I ever tried to hurt my friends unless they hurt me first.

This is just a pouring of my heart out.

If I'm not worth making friends with, just let me know and I will leave you all alone...

Thanks for everything...