Taking It In Strides

These past few days got me thinking, IF WE DON'T help ourselves, will anyone else?

My husband and I been trying our best to save money for our future. Maybe who knows, if God permits, I would have a child of my own and the savings would of course be a great help.

One thing tho... I have to be selfish at times to a lot of people in order to have savings for my future.

Having to suffer some ailments in my aging body, I too need savings to cope with my medical. On the outlook I might be happy and cheerful and healthy to people.. but I'm just bearing the pain inside.

So, in my bid to restore my self-esteem and my confidence in my future, I HAD to be selfish. Sometimes blood members tend to need help when it's not so important at the moment, I just have to refuse, knowing they've got other sources to get from. I HAD to refuse with a tinge of guilt.

Gosh, When will I be able to stop feeling guilty for other's mistakes and mishaps? When will I able to feel guilty for not taking care of my own needs? When will I be able to feel guilty for not being able to care for my husband's needs, now that I'm married? Will my guilt overwhelm my priorities in my own marriage?

After all, in my religion as taught by religious teachers all over my country and others, all said the same thing. A woman, when married, her obligations and priorities shift from her own family and parents to her husband as a wife. A man, when married, his obligations and priorities shift from his family and parents to his wife, as a husband.

They are bounded to each other by marriage no matter the outcomes of their family, after the blissful union bounded by ties of matrimony. The husband is supposed to provide and care for the wife FIRST before taking care of his other family member's needs and the wife, is bounded to the husband and her priorities are to take care of the husband's needs, well-being, and to obey his wishes.

I wonder..... it hasn't come up in my dictionary for I am still bounded by my own family as long as I'm staying under one roof with them.

When will I be able to have my own castle to build? My own moat, my own guardian dragon and my own Prince Charming all to myself?

I'm under a spell that bounded my hands and feet to the family's dungeon.

It's time I take it in strides and do something for myself before it gets worse. I seek solace and the company of good people to help me through this excrutiating ordeal. 

I especially love my husband for always being there for me, in sickness and in health, thru good times and bad times, we stuck together, never knowing the meaning of giving up hope and always working things out between us together. Never caring what people think about us.

Sure, there are ups and downs in our relationship, but it has never ever reached to the point of not talking to each other. hehe...

But above all, as an individual, we all must learn how to be independent sometimes, knowing what we want in life and make an effort to make it better and make it happen instead of sitting around waiting for the moon to fall into your lap.

If it's not right, and you've got the opportunity to correct it, just DO IT! If you think it's worth the try, DO IT! If you think it's good for you even when people around you say it's not, and it's not gonna hurt anyone or do any disastrous damage to anyone, but benefits you in return, just DO IT!